Wind of Change

Assalaam Alaikum sisters!

I hope you are doing well and are at the best of iman, insha'Allah!

I am taking a bigger break from computers than I intented, but I don't think it's that bad at all although I know it increases the amount of posts from you lovely sisters that I didn't read or comment on... My apologies!

Allah says: “Truly, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” 
(Quran 13:11)

It seems like changes are happening for many sisters and brothers at the moment. At least I see it on quite a few blogs: Sisters are making important changes in their lives with the goal to achieve (more) peace, contentment, nearness to Allah (swt) and to get to know their deen better. Alhamdulillah, the same things are happening at my place. Recently I have had more time to look at my own stuck patterns and convictions and have had a lot of a-ha-moments, Alhamdulillah. It's so dangerous if we stop reflecting and if we don't try to make our hearts become cleaner and increase our nearness to Allah (swt)...

My husband and I are starting to read more Arabic together, he teaches me and his daughter more about Islam and we want to study the Qur'an together. As a Muslim I find it really essential that you learn Arabic so you can study the Qur'an and unlock the beautiful secrets in it. Without the understanding of the many meanings of the words in Arabic, I don't think I will benefit a 100% from the Qur'an and I would be sad to die without having known the Qur'an in it's many facets!

This Ramadan we have planned to meet 3 times a week with another family - and eveybody else who wants to join in - and read Qur'an, become better at Tajweed, get to know our deen better, make Dhikr etc. Insha'Allah it will be beneficial!! The days we don't meet up with the others, we will do all these things together (my husband and I), insha'Allah.

I pray that all sisters and brothers who are trying to make positive changes in their lives and try to get closer to Allah (swt) will succeed and will eventually feel peace and contentment in their hearts. It's a big challenge being a human in this world and there are so many ways to approach it!

"And remember the Name of your Rubb and devote yourself to Him with a complete devotion."

(Quran 73:8)

Take care dear sisters!! And let me know what changes you are going through lately? (If you feel like sharing them <3)

A Baby... Please?

How good it is to have a place like this, where you can ask so many sisters for advice! Masha'Allah. I hope you're all doing well.

The situation:

My husband has a daughter (9) from a previous relationship. I wasn't clever enough to talk about our future together and if he would like to have any more kids, when I got married to my husband at the age of 22. At that time I had no need to have children of my own and I even though it would be enough for me with just his daughter. When I turned 25 things changed and I suddenly felt a deep desire to have my own children some day (not in too many years) and now at the age of 26 the desire is still there and I almost can't imagine how my life would be, when I get older, and I hadn't gotten any children of my own!...

In the beginning of our marriage my husband always said, that you can't, as a man, marry a young woman and say you don't want to have any kids (if she hasn't gotten any already). I agreed with that... And still do! But lately he's said things like "do we really need to have children?!" (he thinks it's sooo much work!)... And it makes me quite uncomfortable, 'cause I really don't want to be the kind of woman who forces her man to have kids with her :-/ and I also know that my husband has a hard time with women who want to have kids no matter if the husband likes it or not!! 

Do you have any advice for me and has somebody perhaps been in the same situation?

I really find it hard to pick up the subject with my husband 'cause I am afraid of what it will lead to... Afraid that he will ask me to choose between him - or to leave and have kids with somebody else some day...

Of course I make duaa too!... And I also know I should just trust Allah (swt) and not worry too much...
I really would love to experience being pregnant and experience the unique love (as they say) that you experience with your own baby/kids... I would feel as if I would not be completed as a woman, if I didn't have kids and I feel like I'm already in love with that little baby who isn't even a reality yet......

Yasin

The mother of someone close to my husband has passed away and was burried today. That is why I post Surah Yasin, masha'Allah.
The sun is shining brightly and it's warm outside and my thoughts are wandering about life and death. The death of someone is always a reminder for people that this life is only temporary and that we have to say goodbye to each other and to the world ourselves one day. It makes us remember to be grateful for what we have and for the time we were able to be around the person, who has passed away...

Ina lilah wa ina ilayhi raji'oon

Dream Image (poem)

engle af glas
knuses mod asfalten
blodet siver fra mine fødder

drømmebilledet varer evigt

jeg tør ikke vende blikket op
jeg vil ikke vide om englene er knust
før de rammer jorden

 *

angels made of glass
crush against the pavement
blood seeps from my feet

the dream image lasts eternally

I dare not lift up my gaze
I don't want to know if the angels are crushed
before they hit the ground

--

I just felt like sharing this poem I wrote in 2009...

You can interpret it exactly as you like. I am of the believe that poetry speaks to us in the way that we need it to. Just like dreams. The meaning of a dream to one person, might have a completely different meaning to another person.

To me this poem reflects a will to hold on to a dream-world you live in or the reality that you have created for yourself - not wanting/daring to see the world as it actually is, even though reality is knocking at your door (-bleeding feet...).

Sometimes I have a tendency to not want to know what's actually going on around me! I want to live in a little bubble with my little family, friends and Islam..... :) Insha'Allah in Jannah... :)

That's all for now. I was in a poetry-mood tonight after having worked on my paper all day long.

Sweet dreams all of you <3

Studytime & Heart Touching Hadith

My dear sisters!

It'll be a bit silent on my blog the up-coming weeks until the 23rd of June, where I have my last exam at university. If I have time to post, I'll do it, I promise, but else you know why I'm so silent - on my blog and on yours.

I am already looking so much forward to having finished this semester and to have holidays!

I hope you're all doing well and before I'm off to study, I want to share this amazing, heart touching hadith with you:

Narrated by Abu Huraira (RA):

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

"There is a group of Allaah's angels who move about the streets searching for the people who mention Allaah (swt). When they find a group doing that, they call each other, "Here is what you are looking for." Then they cover that group with their wings right up to the sky.

When these angels return to the heavens, their Lord asks them, although He knows the answer, "What were My Servants saying?"

They say, "They were describing Your holiness and greatness, and were busy praising and glorifying You."

Allaah (swt) then asks, "Have they seen Me?" The angels reply, "By Allaah! They have not seen You."

Allaah (swt) says, "What would they have done if they could see me?" The angels reply, "They would then be even more busy in their worship, glorification, and praise."

Then Allaah (swt) asks, "What did they want from Me?" The angels reply, "They asked You for Jannah (Heaven)."

Allaah (swt) says, "Have they seen it?" They answer, "No, by You! They have not seen it."

Allah (swt) says, "What would they have done if they had seen it?" The angels answer, "Had they seen it, they would desire it more eagerly, and would work harder to deserve it."

Then Allaah (swt) asks, "From what thing did they want Me to protect them?" The angels answer, "They wanted to be protected from Hell."

Allaah (swt) says, "Have they seen it?" They answer, "No, by You! They have not seen it."

Allaah (swt) says, "What would they have done if they had seen it?" The angels answer, "Had they seen it, they would have feared it and run from it even more."

Then Allaah (swt) says, "Be My witnesses: I have forgiven them!"

One of the angels then says, "But among them was a person who is not one of them. He had simply come for something he needed."

Allaah (swt) says, "I have forgiven him too, just because he happened to sit with them. Anyone who sits with those people will not be a loser."

(Sahih Bukhari Volume 8:417)

Beauty...

What is beauty? What do we perceive as being beautiful? What should we perceive as beautiful?

I love that Dove made a series of commercials a few years ago to focus on womens self esteem and how our perception of beauty is distorted. Look at this video if you don't know what I am talking about (it gives me chills!!):

Well, I would have loved to see this video already about 10 years ago, when I first started thinking about who I was becoming as a woman and making myself look "more beautiful" when I had to go outside. But being 15 at that time, it would probably already have been too late to influence me, 'cause society would already have completed my view on beauty and my demands for myself and my looks... :-/
The habit of putting on make up every day stuck to me until recently (after meeting my husband and reverting to Islam), where I would never walk outside without make up on (i.e. mascara, eyeliner, (eye-shadow), concealer)! I thought I looked ugly without - and I'm still getting used to not wearing (much) make up outside and getting to know the stranger in the mirror better.
My husband has helped me a great deal, by really letting me know that he appreciates me just the same with and without make up. He says I just look different, but always beautiful (in his eyes). That (among other things) has made me feel more secure and also the fact that I have been working on my self esteem, which has never been sky high. I'm still working on not letting beautiful women and commercials make me feel inadequate and insha'Allah I will learn soon that Allah (swt) loves me and that He loves the unique way that I look and that the purpose of being in this world is not to compete about outer beauty (- or compete at all...).

Sometimes I wish I lived in another country, where the majority were Muslims and people were dressing modestly, 'cause it gets too much for me in the West, where people reveal so much of their bodies no matter where you go and there is this on-going competition about who's hottest, smallest, thinnest, tallest......

Insha'Allah my self esteem will always get better (- and yours too, if you also feel you haven't arrived just yet -) and I/we will learn, even more, to put my/our values in the right places.

What are your thoughts on this topic, dear sisters?


Talking about beauty: Before I go, I want to share some real useful beauty tips with you!:

He Gives Life & Causes Death

Dear sisters,

I hope you're all in good health and imaan.

I had a lovely day and am off to bed after posting this. I thank Allah (swt) for His continuous guidance, for giving me hope, strength and imaan and for giving me so many beautiful memories to collect. I also thank Him that I am still here, although I do find life quite difficult at times.

We never know, if we're going to be here tomorrow. Our heart can stop beating at any second...only Allah (swt) knows the time.

"Indeed, to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He gives life and causes death. And you have not besides Allah any protector or any helper."

[Qur'an 9:116]

And insha'Allah we will die with a content heart and soul full of imaan.

There is a dua, which if you make it your last speech before going to sleep and you die that night, you’ll die on faith...:

Narrated Al-Bara ‘bin ‘Azib:

The Prophet said to me, “Whenever you go to bed perform ablution like that for the prayer, lie on your right side and say, “Allahumma aslamtu wajhi ilaika, wa fauwadtu amri ilaika, wa alja’tu Zahri ilaika raghbatan wa rahbatan ilaika. La Malja’ wa la manja minka illa ilaika. Allahumma amantu bikitabika-l-ladhi anzalta wa bina-biyika-l ladhi arsalta."

 (O Allah! I surrender to You and entrust all my affairs to You and depend upon You for Your Blessings both with hope and fear of You. There is no fleeing from You, and there is no place of protection and safety except with You O Allah! I believe in Your Book (the Qur’an) which You have revealed and in Your Prophet (Muhammad) whom You have sent). Then if you die on that very night, you will die with faith (i.e. or the religion of Islam).

Let the aforesaid words be your last utterance (before sleep). ”I repeated it before the Prophet and when I reached “Allahumma amantu bikitabika-l-ladhi anzalta (O Allah I believe in Your Book which You have revealed).” I said, “Wa-rasulika (and your Apostle).” The Prophet said, “No, (but say): ‘Wanabiyika-l-ladhi arsalta (Your Prophet whom You have sent), instead.”

Take care sisters and brothers and I wish you a beautiful day tomorrow, insha'Allah <3

Gratitude, Salah & Calmness of Heart

My dearest sisters!

I have not forgotten you! :-) I think about you every day! And I hope you're feeling well - all of you.

I haven't been posting much, because I've been enjoying the beautiful Spring weather, Alhamdulillah! We've had sunshine for almost two weeks in a row - and that's awesome in a place like Denmark :-) Also my exams are getting closer - I've got one month to write two papers and to study for an oral exam in Audiology... Please make duaa that I'll pass everything... :-)

I've had quite a few experiences recently, where it has been very obvious that Allah (swt) has answered my prayers.

'...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.'

(Surah Baqarah: 216)

- So sometimes we might wonder, why are duaa's "aren't answered"... Allah (swt) answers our duaa's in this life or in the Hereafter and He knows what is best for us. But these days I experienced that my prayers were answered and Allah (swt) really showed me that we human beings can never foretell the future. He does make possible the impossible, as I wrote in my previous post.

After 4 difficult years with my family and their relationship to my husband (and vice versa) it has suddenly become easier and my family seems more accepting of him than ever before. In 4 years we've only visited them about 4 times... Next weekend will be the 5th time.

It was a load off my mind and now I just pray that it will become even more relaxed and easier with time, insha'Allah!

'O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you.'

[Hadith Qudsi]

I have a question for you sisters - or brothers too. I don't know if this is just something a revert might experience,  but I've found it very hard to simply "let go" in my prayer and "disappear" (so to say) or perform salah as a form of meditation - which I consider it to be. I might be too focussed on my Arabic pronounciation or saying the right things at the right time... My goal is to be able to really disconnect from the world these 5 times a day and only have Allah (swt) in mind and insha'Allah feel much more calmness of heart afterwards - more regularly. (I know salah in not only about that, but it's an aspect of it, which I personally feel is not always present for me).

If any of you experience the above:

How did you get there - did time just do it or something else perhaps? :-) Most Muslims I know say that it came with time... But perhaps some of you have another perspective on this. I also think that if every Muslim felt a huge difference inside after Salah, there wouldn't be as many people "missing" their prayers... - Just a thought I had, which I don't know is true or not. Allahu Alim.

Please do share your experiences with Salah - if you're a born Muslim or a revert :-)

And have a beautiful day - I'm off to pray Asr in a few minutes, insha'Allah :-)

He Made Possible the Impossible

Subhan'Allah, He did it again. He answered my prayers and made possible the impossible. Alhamdulillah.

I wrote in my last post that my husband and I were going to attend a "non-firmation" this Saturday. My husband and I have been together for almost 4 years and I tell you; those 4 years have not been easy, when it comes to my family accepting my husband :-/ (because of various reasons -like Islam...). It's been a battle! And I was fearing that the party yesterday would be like the other ones, where my husband doesn't feel included at all and my closest family doesn't really talk to him.

But Alhamdulillah, He answered my duaas and my husband told me today that yesterday was the first time that he felt that my family (at least some of it) was his family too! Alhamdulillah. My mother invited us to their place next Sunday and I pray that it will be a positive experience for us, 'cause until now, there hasn't been many and I get all anxious, when we have to see my parents or other family. Please make duaa for us -- that the warmth in my family will increase and my husband will feel accepted and welcome. Insha'Allah. And "Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity" (2:286).

This morning I read some of Surah Al-Imran and was especially moved by the following, which I feel is so true and powerful indeed:

قُلِ اللَّهُمَّ مَالِكَ الْمُلْكِ تُؤْتِي الْمُلْكَ مَن تَشَاء وَتَنزِعُ الْمُلْكَ مِمَّن تَشَاء وَتُعِزُّ مَن تَشَاء وَتُذِلُّ مَن تَشَاء بِيَدِكَ الْخَيْرُ إِنَّكَ عَلَىَ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ ﴿

Say, `O Allâh! the Lord of all power, You grant power to whomsoever You will and take away power from whomsoever You please, and confer honour and dignity on whomsoever You will and disgrace whomsoever You will. All good lies in Your hand. Verily, You are the Possessor of full power to do all You will, (3 : 26)


تُولِجُ اللَّيْلَ فِي الْنَّهَارِ وَتُولِجُ النَّهَارَ فِي اللَّيْلِ وَتُخْرِجُ الْحَيَّ مِنَ الْمَيِّتِ وَتُخْرِجُ الَمَيَّتَ مِنَ الْحَيِّ وَتَرْزُقُ مَن تَشَاء بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ ﴿٢٧

You cause the night to merge into the day and cause the day to merge into the night, and bring forth the living from the dead and bring forth the dead from the living, and provide (all sorts of provisions) to whomsoever You will without measure.' (3: 27 )

Yesterday was a reminder for me of the power of duaa and how Allah (swt) is always there and that we never know, what will come! The impossible can become possible by His Will.

Join My Tea- & Coffee-party!

My little PC and a Coffee Latte Tiramisu!

I'm having a lovely Saturday. It seems to be the first real day of Spring because there are +10 degrees Celcius in some parts of the country :-D So I just had to get out of my home and go to one of my favorite café's and have a Coffee Latte Tiramisu! How I love that drink. Hehe. Also I felt like I'd been home a bit too much this week and I needed to go out... I already feel how that also makes it greater to get home later and see my husband again :-) 'cause sometimes I feel like we see each other a bit too much, which makes it less exciting... You know what they say, "it's good to miss each other a bit sometimes".

Well, back to my coffee. Yummi ;)

I feel like inviting you all here! But because it is impossible because of obvious reasons, I invite you to my virtual tea- and coffee party! Please join in my dear sisters :)

And because this is rose water throwing this party, you should all try making this lovely rose tea some day, if you're throwing a party yourself:

This recipe will make one gallon of rose tea.

• 8 bags of earl grey tea

• 1 large orange or two medium ones - sliced

• 1 cup of white sugar

• 3 tablespoons of rose water

• 1/2 gallon of hot water - 2 quarts

• 2 quarts of ice

I got the delicious recipe here, where you can read how to make it: http://www.fun-tea-party-ideas.com/rose-water-tea.html

But for this tea- and coffee party, tell me what you choose to drink :) and answer these 3 questions:

1. Do you have a memory connected to marshmallows, cornflakes or strawberries - if yes, what is it?

2. If you were going to have your last meal ever, what would you have?

3. What is freedom to you?

Here are my answers to the 3 questions:

1. Once (when I was 10)  I was on a wonderful vacation in the mountains of Norway with my family. We lived in a little house without water and electricity - and had to get water from a river :-) Every morning sheep would lick the plants and grass outside the house and I would go out to them on my bare feet and feed them cornflakes and suddenly more and more sheep would crowd outside the house every morning, begging for cornflakes :-D

2. I would have a vegetarian Indian dish with Indian bread and sweet mango lassi and for desert I'd have icecream with hot chocolate sauce and also a piece of cheesecake and a cup of green tea with roses...!

3. Freedom to me is when you feel free inside -- a peaceful and happy heart and soul, feeling the presence of Allah (swt) and feeling satisfaction and gratitude for everything there is.

Please join in my dear sisters! And I tag ~ x Aisha x ~, Alice, Marie & MoOn to throw the next tea- & coffee-parties :)
I send you lots of love and happiness on this beautiful Saturday!

The Brain & Our Step Family

I just got home from lessons at the socalled Center for Brain Injuri. Especially after lessons at this place I thank Allah (swt) deeply for having a healthy brain and body, Alhamdulillah. With a healthy and well-functioning brain comes, of course, the ability to think and ponder about things and worry etc. which is not always something I enjoy... But of course it's quite essential in this life as a human being and in the interaction with other people, who have the same abilities. Lots of things are going through my mind at the time...

One thing is my dad and cancer. Alhamdulillah it had not spread in my dad's body, so he is getting a curing treatment now, insha'Allah, although it also has a lot of side effects. But that treatment was what he wished for the most and I thank you all for your prayers and support!

Another thing that is nagging me is that my step daughter (9) is coming today (staying till Monday). Well it's not that she is coming, but it's the fact that suddenly after three quite good years, our relationship has started to become difficult. I mean, it's always been a challenge for all of us to make this step family function "perfectly", because it's simply not easy for the child, nor the father or the stepmother. Actually the father is the only one who has chosen both the daughter (by having her in the first place) and his wife (me) and his daughter and I just have to get along. Whew there are many many diffucult feelings to handle in a stepmom-/dad and step child relationship (not to mention in regard of the ex-wife too!) and you surely don't become a happy little step family on one day - if you ever become that anyway!
It needs work, just like any other thing in life. And for the stepmom it needs understanding of the child and how he/she is (for many years!) hurting from the divorce of his/her parents and how the step parent becomes the symbol of that divorce and an obstacle in the way of the parents getting together again (although this is just what the child feels and not reality).
I just ask from Allah (swt) to help us all make this a peaceful and loving home, where we all learn to live respectfully together.

To help my step family I have read quite a few books on the topic and recently read The Smart Step Mom, which was the first book to help us (my husband and I) to see the best way of "cooking our step family", as they call it in the book. It helped us view our situation in a completely new way and today will be the first day of these new views to become true!! That's why I am excited and nervous too... And I so hope everything will become better soon (actually mostly the feelings of my step daughter towards me), insha'Allah.
Before getting married to a man with a child I had no idea what I was going into!! And Subhan'Allah this has helped me (and forced me) to grow in so many ways.


So wish me luck for today and the upcoming days... My husband is also going to have a talk with his daughter about step families etc. which I am sure will help too to soothe her feelings, insha'Allah. Poor girl doesn't understand where all the hatred comes from... So all we can do is to talk to her, recognize her feelings and help her when she is hurting.
- Just to get this clear, her parents separated years before my husband and I got to know each other, but still my step daughter can feel that I am the reason for them not coming together again...
All these thoughts, feelings etc. emerge from these well-functioning brains... Hehe. And being a human being we face many many difficulties in our lives that we must try to grow from, overcome, survive etc. and remember to ask Allah (swt) for help from :)

If there are any stepmothers out there, feel free to share your experiences as a stepmom and how you all learned to thrive and not just survive :) (hopefully). Step children are also very welcome to share thoughts and views on this topic :)


In a few moments I'll start cooking this lovely dish from Ya Salam Cooking :) and around 6PM I'll go by bike through the icy wind(!) to the place where I play the violin in the Symphony Orchestra. It always cheers me up to play there.


Take care all of you :)

A Lovely Day

Assalaam Alaikum dear sisters!

I feel so content right now, Alhamdulillah! This weekend and this day has just been perfect. Today I got to do everything that I felt like doing and needed to do, such as cleaning the house, buying groceries, offering salat, listening to Qur'an, spending time with my husband and his daughter - and my rabbit :) And last but not least my cooking has been perfect to day, Alhamdulillah. I've prepared a Waldorf-salat (the recipe I linked to was not the one I used, I just wanted to post an English recipe (and not a Danish one). I don't add pepper, mayo, lemon juice and lettuce so you could leave that out too :). I prepared spaghetti bolognese (which is still cooking) and baked an Italian foccacia. My family is already excitedly waiting for the dinner and my husband already tasted the Waldorf-salat and fell in love with me all over again. Hehe. Of course these are not my homemade recipes, but still I'm glad the cooking has been a success today and I love serving good food for my family.

I hope you're all having a good day too, and if not, offer perhaps some more prayers and see how you feel afterwards :) Or try to think about 1 thing that you could do right now, that would make you feel just a little bit better, insha'Allah.

9 Weird Things about Me

Because deros just answered to the tag Weird things about me, I realized that Blue Pearl has tagged me too for this in December! Hehe. Sorry for the delay and enjoy, insha'Allah:

1 * I don't know how weird it is - but people (from 7+ years...) do think it's weird: I can get overly excited about "casual" stuff like how the sky looks when the sun sets, or how the birds sing. In December I really got excited about how beautiful and unique every snowflake is and caught them in my black glove to look more closely at them. I was with my class from university and some of the girls thought I was being crazy again. But it ended up with every body standing with their hands stretched out, catching snowflakes and studying them closely. Hehe :-D Subhan'Allah.


2 * I often prefer the company of animals to that of human beings and I have a very special love for my rabbit! She's 5½ :) Here she is in the snow on the balchony this December:

Ooh and here she is eating the snow:

3 * I like doing the opposite of what is considered "normal" or "right". When I was younger I really challenged my mother in many ways: in an early age I became a vegetarian, from March till Autumn I would walk around in bare feet, I had boyfriends she never could accept and I believed in God from an early age and experimented with a lot of religions and beliefs. Now being a Muslim with a "foreign" husband is also "one of these things" for my mom. Sorry... It's just the way I am.

In school I was the only one choosing not to be confirmed at the age of 14. My argument was that I did not want to say "yes" to something, just to receive lots of gifts and money (which is often how it works here in Denmark).

4 * I prefer not to open the door, when somebody rings the doorbel... I think it's because I like my privacy, when I am at home.

5 * When I am alone some times, if my husband is out or on a trip, I most often buy sushi for dinner and creamy cakes for dessert.

6 * I don't feel joy and relaxation when thinking about forests. I feel loneliness and a bit scared and would probably never go to a (Danish) forest on my own. I love forests when they are part of a landscape with mountains!

7 * I hate being the center of attention, especially if I didn't choose it myself!

8 * I use natural oils on my body on a daily basis and my husband calls me his sticky wife. Hehe.

9 * I can't stand it if my nails grow long and neeeeed to cut them, no matter what. (I love the nails on the picture :). Oh yes and by the way I can't stand the scratching sound of long nails against texture :-O



That's all for now, although I think I could continue for hours. Hehe.
I tag 4 other people (and hope you haven't been tagged for this before): Alice, Visual Notes, MoOn and Aabida Muslimah. I hope you feel like making a post on this :) and I look forward to your responses, which you can add here if you want:

Jealousy

Have you ever been jealous? Have you ever been afraid of your husband finding somebody else more attractive than you or more intelligent or more pious than you and afraid that it would start something in his mind? And you could eventually loose him?...
Most of us know that jealousy is a very strong feeling! People have even killed in the name of jealousy! And of course we as Muslims also know that Shaitaan is part of this destructive game.
Sadly I am one of these women, who can easily become very very jealous and insecure.
I know that this feeling started already when I was a child and my dad would sometimes talk more to some other woman than to me. I got so jealous and so afraid of losing him! And if you know just a little about psychology, it's not uncommon that such childhood-patterns continue in your life as an adult. I believe that we also through our thoughts attract more of the same experiences - that we get what we expect or that we see the world through our own filter and interpret our environment, the way that we think it really is. That's one of the reasons why I think I have experienced this feeling over and over again in relationships with boys (before I reverted to Islam) and also now in my marriage. Sadly I have not just once experienced the one I had given my heart to, being unfaithful to me and I do realize that most people would become jealous and of course angry too in such situations. I guess these experiences have made my jealousy much worse in the way that I often actually don't have a reason for my jealousy. It's just a feeling that I have become so used to having - and if I hear that my husband talked to some woman and if he tells me something about her, which I think sounds just a bit toooooo "great", the green-eyed monster pops up.
I've never been proud of it and even less as a Muslim, because I think jealousy is such a "wrong" feeling and so much an opposite to all the wonderful feelings I can have. But I guess this is just part of being human - there are feelings we need to learn to tame and we need to grow more as human beings, insha'Allah.

I could so much be the blonde girl in this picture... :-/ "Jealousy is a terrible disease. Get well soon". This quote I read somewhere on the Internet and it made me smile, but also reminded me, of how destructive jealousy is. I also read that "Jealousy is a form of anger brought on by a fear of loss", which is also very clear to me.

So... I guess I know all the reasons for my jealousy, fear, anger and insecurity! I just haven't found the magic key to dissolving this issue and living a life, where I don't mistrust the ones I really love. If you have any experience with jealousy and overcomming it, you are so welcome to share it here with me. I would love to hear Muslim women's approach to this and how some of you might have learned to move on and become happier people. I've heard the phrases "just trust in Allah (swt)" and "it's just Shaitaan, who's whispering into your ears" and sadly these phrases haven't helped me this far. I know I have to trust more in Allah (swt), but somehow I haven't been able to do this enough to rule out the jealousy...

Farsilla - Sending You Love

It can't be done often enough - - if a person is down, you can't give them enough love. And this post is to Farsilla! I believe she could use some extra love these days, although she luckily already seems to have good supporting friends and hubby. I am sure that the energy from lots of people sending somebody love is very strong and healing.

I know you (Farsilla) posted about sabr, which is definitely very useful in times like these, but it doesn't hurt to receive some extra love on top of that :)

So please all dear Blogger-sisters: let's show our dear sister Farsilla some extra love!

Take care dear - and please tell me to delete this post, if you don't appreciate it <3

Housekeeping

When doing the laundry earlier today, I thought how big a difference it makes for me that the clothes I wash smell good afterwards. I've noticed that it really affects the feeling it gives me to do the landry. If the result is clothes that look clean, but don't smell that much better than before, because of a too neutral washing powder, I don't enjoy doing the landry very much! It might sound weird, but that's the way it is for me and I've been given it a lot of thought, 'cause I also don't want to buy very perfumed washing powder that is very bad for the environment. At the time I use Ecover, but they added "lemon"-smell and I actually don't think that smell fits landry, but rather dishes when dishwashing.

I checked the Internet for environment friendly washing powder (liquid that is) and found one that I'm going to buy later: Coop Änglamark. Which one do you use? :)

All this laundry-thinking made me think about how I could make cooking, buying groceries, cleaning the house etc. more fun. Too often I feel like it's a burden and I would like to make it more pleasant. As some of you might know, I am not really a housewife 'cause I'm studying Audiologopaedics, but as a student I have a lot of time at home compared to my husband, who works out almost every day and earns the money.

Are there any sisters out there, who have found a key to making housekeeping more enjoyable? Perhaps I just need to adjust something inside my head :) Like thinking more about the wonderful results that I get by cleaning the house for example. Because I do feel really good, when everything is clean and is in its right place.

While searching for pictures to match this post, I have to admit that I am shocked on a daily basis, by how you can not type in any search word in Google, go to the pictures and not always bump into a loooot of unwanted pictures -- here I am referring to half-naked women mostly. Men invented fantasies with women under every possible subject :-/ Oh well that's a different story. But OMG. Will I ever learn to ignore that or is there also a magic key to avoiding these pictures? :-/ Hehe.

Anyway. I have some tips I would like to share and perhaps you want to share some tips too?!:

- As you might know, I love when things smell good and are also quite environment friendly. So when I clean the house, I use hot water with some rose water. It smells very delicate and makes it more fun to undust. I was inspired to use this mixture for cleaning, because I read that they clean the Holy Ka'aba with a mixture of Zamzam water and rose water, masha'Allah.

- It's good to give stuff away for charity or to simply throw out stuff that nobody needs or can use. Every now and then I decide to throw out/give away at least 10 things, mostly clothes. And it gives you a great feeling and a good overview of your stuff. And there's always something you don't need anymore, but are just clinging to because you're used to having it...

- The people living below us always cook food that smells the same (weird - sorry!) way and somehow that smell travels particularly into our bathroom. So to change the smell, I just add a few drops of lavendar essential oil for example on the floor near the drain. That way it will smell good the rest of the day and first go away the next morning, when you take a shower.

- When I cook, I clean the kitchen at the same time. If I for example used a dish, I wash it while the food is cooking and while the family is laying the table, I might also wash a thing or too. That reduces the amount of dishes (etc.) to clean afterwards.

- For cooking I made a list of about 15 dishes (that my family likes too) that I can make whenever I want, which stops me from thinking and thinking about what on earth I shall cook today. Once a week I try out a new recipe and by now it's working quite well.

- If you have been serving eggs for breakfast and can't get rid of the egg-smell on the plates, a good thing is to first wash everything else (so everything doesn't smell of egg...) and add drops of fresh lemon onto the plates and cutlery that has been in contact with the egg (same goes for chicken!), leave it there for a while and then wash it with soap, perhaps using a different sponge.

 

That's all for now, I've got to clean the house now and I feel more like it after writing this post. Hehe. Before I leave: Isn't the picture below just cute and doesn't it make you want to do a lot of housekeeping, when everything is smiling at you that way? Hehe.

Duaa, a Fisherman & Birds Singing

أَصْبَـحْـنا وَأَصْبَـحْ المُـلكُ للهِ رَبِّ العـالَمـين ، اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّـي أسْـأَلُـكَ خَـيْرَ هـذا الـيَوْم ، فَـتْحَهُ ، وَنَصْـرَهُ ، وَنـورَهُ وَبَـرَكَتَـهُ ، وَهُـداهُ ، وَأَعـوذُ بِـكَ مِـنْ شَـرِّ ما فـيهِ وَشَـرِّ ما بَعْـدَه

The morning has come to me and the whole universe belongs to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, O Allah, I ask of you the good of the day, it's success and aid and it's nur (celestial light) and barakaat (blessings) and seek hidayah (guidance) and seek refuge from the evil in it (this day) and from the evil of that which is to come later.

Hisn from Abu Dawood

Good morning dear sisters!

I hope you're all doing well. I've been up since 5am because I had to bring my stepdaughter to school, who then stayed home anyway, 'cause she wasn't feeling too good. So then I got lots of time to prepare a good breakfast for my family and at 9am I'm going to do the laundry and clean the house. But before all that I wanted to share the duaa above and also the picture of the man (leaning forward) in the little boat. The photo was taken by me in 2005 on the Greek island Symi, where I was on vacation with my parents and little sister. I think that vacation was one of the best ones ever. We have always gone on vacation to places, which were not too crowded by tourists. And Symi was just such a unique, beautiful tiny island. This man in the boat was there every morning around 6am catching fish :) What a life. I'd love to live on an island far away from big cities, cars etc. Everything was so peaceful! Insha'Allah, some day :)

Have a beautiful day all of you and perhaps you too enjoy the beautiful song of the birds below. Allah's (swt) creations are truly magnificent.

Gratitude & Happiness

Photo source: http://blog.rbkdesign.com/page/2/

Hello my dear Blogger-sisters!

I have been missing you and I am soooo extremely happy to have holidays now after having finished my bachelor project and attending an exam yesterday. Insha'Allah I will pass both tasks! :)

I have lots of wonderful plans for my holidays, like learning more Arabic, visiting my family and friends, cleaning up everything in our apartment and giving things I don't need to charity. I will watch movies that make me feel good, eat what I love to eat, exercise, be in company I love, pray, make duaa, read Qur'an, feel love and happiness. YAY. I'm seriously on a journey to feel more pure happiness in my life! I want to use this year to change into an even happier content person, insha'Allah and as much as possible, do things that make me feel good.

You can join in if you want. Focus on good feeling thoughs, do things that feel good and if you feel bad, try to be grateful for things you already have in your life that can make you feel better. Insha'Allah :) It's truly good for the heart, body, mind and soul be grateful and happy inside.

And remember this:
This verse, together with many others, gives the good tidings that Allah (swt) rewards those who remain grateful to their Creator:

And remember! Your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): “If you are grateful, I will increase My favours to you. But if you show ingratitude, truly, My punishment is terrible indeed.” (Abraham, 7)

An Amazing Dream & Flying Trains

“And they planned a plan, and We planned a plan, while they perceived not.” (Qur’an 27:50)

http://bluenred.wordpress.com/2009/07/17/la-musica-dreams/

Subhan'Allah!

I always found dreams very interesting and from the age of 12, I've read books about dream interpretation by C. Jung and other dream-litterature, to understand how I could learn to interpret my dreams. There are so many different approaches to dream interpretation and with time, I think I've found my own way with a mixture of all these different approaches... Anyway, the most important thing in understanding your dreams, is that it somehow makes sense to you! I don't believe it will help you much if you dream about horses, for example, and look up that word in a so-called "dream-dictionary" and see the few meanings of a horse! I don't believe you can put labels on the symbolic reality of your unconsciousness like that! Maybe it can give you some hints, but what works best for me is my immediate reaction and immediate emotions connected to the dream I just had! What are the first things I link to the dream? Experiences from my life, thoughts, emotions, people etc.

Although I think dreams are very personal, I would like to share this dream I just had, with you, 'cause for me it also makes very much sense in an Islamic way (and not just personally) :)

Bismillah.

I was on a train on my way to visit family in Germany. My mom called me and we talked until the connection suddenly fell out. I noticed, while looking out of the window, that the train had suddenly elevated from the earth and was flying like an airplane! I was very surprised and I also got angry with one of the ladies working on the train, 'cause this wasn't part of the plan! We should've been in Germany within a few hours and now we were suddenly going somewhere else!!

Finally I reached my mom on the phone again and told her what was going on. When we were about to land I met three German guys that I thought I could perhaps hang out with and also a girl showed up. I packed all my stuff in a hurry and very clumsily too! The lady from the train told me we were in Virginia and were going to be here for three days! Virginia! I'd never been so far from home and to the USA and was both excited and a bit worried something would happen to me here, so far away from my family.

The train drove like a car through the crowded streets. My mom told me that they often experience sudden and heavy rain in Virginia, and I could also already see dark clouds approaching! This was going to be an exciting trip indeed! I would try finding a hotel with the little money I got and hopefully everything would be alright and I could soon go to Germany!

By the way the train must have looked something like this. Hehe:

When I woke up, I knew this dream was referring to the fact that we always have so many plans, but because Allah (swt) plans too, we will never know where life is bringing us! The past few days I've had exactly these experiences. I planned stuff and none of it happened according to my plan. I hoped and I prayed, but obviously it was not meant for me to be the way I wished! And in these times, where we experience distress or confusion, frustration, anger, sadness because we feel, we don't get what we think we need... Allah (swt) is always there and is taking care of everything.

And I thank Allah (swt) for my dreams and for the way they inspire me.

If I didn't understand it well enough before, Allah (swt) might have given me this dream, so that I will understand, that I cannot control everything (like the train I'm on in the dream). I just have to let go of my resistance and see the positive things about my journey through life (in the dream: coming to Virginia instead of Germany) and accept where life brings me and grow personally and spiritually through that. And trust Allah (swt) always!

Another little thing: It's interesting that I arrived in Virginia! And take a look at the meaning of the word "virgin" (apart from it meaning that you haven't had sexual intercourse yet): Pure; undefiled; unmixed; fresh; new; as, virgin soil; virgin gold. (Source: http://thinkexist.com/dictionary/meaning/virgin/ ). And now imagine that you could enter a state of being pure, undefiled, fresh, new, when life challenges you or brings you to somewhere you really hadn't expected. At least I think that could help me in just allowing Allah's (swt) plans with me and putting all my trust and my time in Him! Subhan'Allah. Another symbol from the dream that could stress this exact way of approaching life, is the heavy rain coming up. I see rain as a symbol of water that washes everything and purifies it - i.e. removing dirt or other distracting things/things blurring your vision, which in this case could be my emotions, comfusing thoughts etc.

Keep in mind that this is just my immediate interpretation of the dream and definitely isn't all it was meant to tell me, but here I just shared the most important parts of it :) and of course this dream dreamed by somebody else would probably have a completely different meaning!!

Feel free to comment on dream interpretation, dreams in general or whatever you feel like :)

Bye bye and take care!! :)