Beauty...

What is beauty? What do we perceive as being beautiful? What should we perceive as beautiful?

I love that Dove made a series of commercials a few years ago to focus on womens self esteem and how our perception of beauty is distorted. Look at this video if you don't know what I am talking about (it gives me chills!!):

Well, I would have loved to see this video already about 10 years ago, when I first started thinking about who I was becoming as a woman and making myself look "more beautiful" when I had to go outside. But being 15 at that time, it would probably already have been too late to influence me, 'cause society would already have completed my view on beauty and my demands for myself and my looks... :-/
The habit of putting on make up every day stuck to me until recently (after meeting my husband and reverting to Islam), where I would never walk outside without make up on (i.e. mascara, eyeliner, (eye-shadow), concealer)! I thought I looked ugly without - and I'm still getting used to not wearing (much) make up outside and getting to know the stranger in the mirror better.
My husband has helped me a great deal, by really letting me know that he appreciates me just the same with and without make up. He says I just look different, but always beautiful (in his eyes). That (among other things) has made me feel more secure and also the fact that I have been working on my self esteem, which has never been sky high. I'm still working on not letting beautiful women and commercials make me feel inadequate and insha'Allah I will learn soon that Allah (swt) loves me and that He loves the unique way that I look and that the purpose of being in this world is not to compete about outer beauty (- or compete at all...).

Sometimes I wish I lived in another country, where the majority were Muslims and people were dressing modestly, 'cause it gets too much for me in the West, where people reveal so much of their bodies no matter where you go and there is this on-going competition about who's hottest, smallest, thinnest, tallest......

Insha'Allah my self esteem will always get better (- and yours too, if you also feel you haven't arrived just yet -) and I/we will learn, even more, to put my/our values in the right places.

What are your thoughts on this topic, dear sisters?


Talking about beauty: Before I go, I want to share some real useful beauty tips with you!:

Another Morning & Intuition

Good morning dear ones.

I want to thank all of you, who are so kind commenting on my posts! It means very much to me and I continuously enjoy reading your comments!!

And I thank Allah (swt) for being able to experience another day - and beautiful morning - of this life:

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي أَقَالَنَا يَوْمَنَا هَذَا وَلَمْ يُهْلِكْنَا بِذُنُوبِنَا 

All praise be to Allah who has forgiven us today and not destroyed us due to our sin

I had a lovely night's sleep and got up early to go to lessons at university. I knew I had a long day ahead of me: Lessons from 8-11AM, three hours break (to study, buy groceries, go to the library) and lessons from 2-5PM and then off to an appointment after school!

I didn't think about not attending the first three lessons, but right when I stepped out of my front door, I remembered that I forgot a bottle of water and when I went inside again, I thought to myself that I'd better stay home! Then I could study, write emails to friends whom I have neglected a bit for some time, go to the library, buy groceries and then go to school around 1PM.

So now I'm sitting here with a cup of green tea and am looking forward to start my day anew :-)

Sometimes I find it hard to know, if the voice inside you (call it intuition) is coming from a good- or bad place. Do you always know if you're being guided from a good- or bad place?

I believe that it is Allah (swt) who sometimes makes us change our minds in the last minute and by doing so, He is actually saving us from something (i.a.). This might have been the case today for me. Or perhaps He wanted me to prioritate differently today, than my "routine"-attitude was making me do. Allahu Alim.

Sometimes I have experienced that I was going to do something, which I'd convinced myself to be good for me. I experienced that recently! And in planning this, nothing worked out smoothly! And on my way to the place, even after looking at a map, I couldn't find it without lots of struggle!

In this case I should definitely have listened to that inner voice/feeling telling me that what I was on my way to, wasn't going to be good for me!

And then again we might all know the story of how a man struggled to go to his Fajr prayer in the mosque, because Shaitaan made him fall repeatedly...! (Read it here). But although it was a struggle for him to get there, it was good for him to attend the prayer!...

Perhaps there's a difference here though, because we need to perform salah and that can never be bad for us!... So if you have a bad feeling concerning salah, it might well be Shaitaan whispering in your ear!

And again: probably the world is not at all black and white - neither in this matter of the inner voice/feeling! :)

If you have some thoughts on this subject, you're very welcome to share them and perhaps also about how you navigate, when it comes to your inner voice/feeling (intuition) :)

Take care all of you and may you have a wonderful day!

Jealousy

Have you ever been jealous? Have you ever been afraid of your husband finding somebody else more attractive than you or more intelligent or more pious than you and afraid that it would start something in his mind? And you could eventually loose him?...
Most of us know that jealousy is a very strong feeling! People have even killed in the name of jealousy! And of course we as Muslims also know that Shaitaan is part of this destructive game.
Sadly I am one of these women, who can easily become very very jealous and insecure.
I know that this feeling started already when I was a child and my dad would sometimes talk more to some other woman than to me. I got so jealous and so afraid of losing him! And if you know just a little about psychology, it's not uncommon that such childhood-patterns continue in your life as an adult. I believe that we also through our thoughts attract more of the same experiences - that we get what we expect or that we see the world through our own filter and interpret our environment, the way that we think it really is. That's one of the reasons why I think I have experienced this feeling over and over again in relationships with boys (before I reverted to Islam) and also now in my marriage. Sadly I have not just once experienced the one I had given my heart to, being unfaithful to me and I do realize that most people would become jealous and of course angry too in such situations. I guess these experiences have made my jealousy much worse in the way that I often actually don't have a reason for my jealousy. It's just a feeling that I have become so used to having - and if I hear that my husband talked to some woman and if he tells me something about her, which I think sounds just a bit toooooo "great", the green-eyed monster pops up.
I've never been proud of it and even less as a Muslim, because I think jealousy is such a "wrong" feeling and so much an opposite to all the wonderful feelings I can have. But I guess this is just part of being human - there are feelings we need to learn to tame and we need to grow more as human beings, insha'Allah.

I could so much be the blonde girl in this picture... :-/ "Jealousy is a terrible disease. Get well soon". This quote I read somewhere on the Internet and it made me smile, but also reminded me, of how destructive jealousy is. I also read that "Jealousy is a form of anger brought on by a fear of loss", which is also very clear to me.

So... I guess I know all the reasons for my jealousy, fear, anger and insecurity! I just haven't found the magic key to dissolving this issue and living a life, where I don't mistrust the ones I really love. If you have any experience with jealousy and overcomming it, you are so welcome to share it here with me. I would love to hear Muslim women's approach to this and how some of you might have learned to move on and become happier people. I've heard the phrases "just trust in Allah (swt)" and "it's just Shaitaan, who's whispering into your ears" and sadly these phrases haven't helped me this far. I know I have to trust more in Allah (swt), but somehow I haven't been able to do this enough to rule out the jealousy...

I Miss You

I just have to say it: I MISS YOU ALL!!! I miss blogging and reading all your wonderful posts and I hate not having time for it. So I had to just post something tonight. Hehe.

I hope you're all doing well! As for me I'm doing well, just studying way hard and have a deadline for finishing most of my bachelor project this Friday morning (which came as a 'pleasant' surprise for me today), 'cause my teacher is taking her Christmasvacation the week after and won't be able to read my project then before the deadline the 3rd of January :-/ Insha'Allah I can work hard and well on it tomorrow and have the things finished that she wants me to.

And on to something else...

I received this by email the other day and thought I'd share it here:

A man woke up early in order to pray the fajr prayer in the masjid. He got dressed, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid. On his way to the masjid, the man fell and his clothes got dirty.

He got up, brushed himself off and headed home. At home, he changed his clothes, made his ablution and was again, on his way to the masjid.

On his way to the masjid, he fell again and at the same spot! He again, got up, brushed himself off and headed home. At home he, once again changed his clothes, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid.

On his way to the masjid, he met a man holding a lamp. He asked the man of his identity and the man replied: 'I saw you fall twice on your way to the masjid, so I brought a lamp so I can light your way.' The first man thanked him profusively and the two were on their way to the masjid.

Once at the masjid, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray Fajr with him. The second man refused. The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same. The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray. The man replied, 
'I am Satan.' The man was shocked at this reply. Satan went on to explain, 'I saw you on your way to the masjid and it was I who made you fall. When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on your way to the masjid, Allah forgave all of your sins. I made you fall a second time, and even that did not encourage you to stay home but rather, you went back on your way to the masjid.

Because of that, Allah forgave all the sins of the people of your household .

I was AFRAID if I made you fall one more time, then Allah will forgive the sins of the people of your village, so I made sure that you reached the masjid safely.' 

May Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala grant us perfect Muslim Heart and we all do our Prayers with all our Heart and Soul... Ameen....

Take care all my dear sisters. You mean so much to me :) and I love sharing things with you!

Seeking Refuge from Shaitaan

اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم

'A'oothu bilahe minashaitan arajeem.'
(I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed devil)

Alhamdulillah, it's been a good day. I'm still a busy bee and can count on that until the beginning of Januar 2011, where I'll have finished my exams and hopefully passed them, insha'Allah!

I guess one of the main reasons that this was a good day is that I offered my prayers on time and also took time to read in The Noble Qur'an. When I opened it, I first read this:

"Seek help through patience and Salah; truly it is extremely difficult except for the humble true believers." (2:45)

"Oh you who believe! Seek help through patience and Salah. Truly, Allah is with those who are patient." (2:153)
Surely Allah (swt) knows best!

Alhamdulillah! Our Salah is so important (not to forget: the 2nd pillar of Islam!). Of course you all know that, but still there are some sisters and brothers among us (including myself) who sometimes don't get to offer all the daily prayers - or at least not always on time... Like this weekend, where I was super busy: one of the days I didn't offer my prayers and I tell you, I think that was the reason why my day was not good at all and nothing fell easily into place and thoughts and worries and bad mood overwhelmed me. Shaitaan loves this indeed...

I found these short movies on YouTube and like them quite a bit. I hope you like them too. At least they are small reminders:

And these two I liked too:

and

Take care dear muslimahs!!