Okay, did I do something wrong? Or did they just forget me? Or do they just expect me to come, because they know I am aware of the date and they love me? Or do they just expect me to come, without reminding me again, because of course they want me to be there 'cause I'm so awesome? Or... did they change their plans? Or have they just been too busy and haven't gotten to the point yet, where people are being invited? Or am I just too uncool for them...?
- Oh how we are all being challenged in this world on our trust in Allah (swt) and our patience!! :) And how we can all get completely lost in wordly worries!! :-/
Blogger friends... I'll tell you what's going on here. My friend and her boyfriend are tying the knot and throwing a party! I know it's going to take place the upcoming weekend, because my friend told me some time ago. She was really excited about it and I too, 'cause I think they make a wonderful couple, masha'Allah! I talked to her on the phone a while ago, asking how she was and if they were still throwing the engagement party that specific weekend.
Now I've been waiting for an invitation for a long time already, but I didn't receive anything yet... I wonder if it's "normal" not to have invited people yet a week before the party is going to take place?!
My husband said not to worry. Perhaps they forgot or perhaps they aren't inviting their friends (?!) and perhaps they just don't want me to join... (?!).
I always thought it was hard finding real good friends that you can trust and share everything with! I think I've perhaps been too picky, but on the other hand, I often felt very different than most of the people around me and I felt as if I lived in a different world than them - and also I always had my younger sister (23) and my older sister (31) as my closest friends!
Now where I'm 25 I finally got used to it :) And I finally realized (actually after meeting my husband) that there's nothing wrong with me! *Whew* ;) Actually people mostly tend to like me, but often they don't understand me or the things that occupy me... :) I think that many spiritually aware people (I'd like to catogorize myself as one of them...) experience the feeling of not really belonging or a feeling of being different. I do have close friends, but I met them abroad and they don't live close to me. I love them because we understand each other and have the same goals in life (spiritual development, personal growth etc.).
I think these people are rare in this world and if Allah (swt) wants you to meet them, He will make it happen. If you are not meeting them, there's a message in that for you aswell... Allah (swt) is giving me many possibilities to meet other likeminded people - and recently He opened my eyes to blogging - and first I thought "why?" - but now that I have "met" so so many likeminded sisters here, I understand why I had to go into the blogging world and what great pleasure it gives me and how we can even be there for each other here!!
Of course it would be a wonderful dream come true, if all this was taking place psysically and we could meet up after school or work or at the masjid! :)
True friendships are hard to find and are perhaps just as unique as the partner you have married or are going to meet eventually. Life has ups and downs and happy times and disappointing times. Luckily we can often laugh at the disappointing or hard times later in life. For example I invited my (back then) best friend for my wedding three years ago. It was a really small ceremony, 'cause my husband and I don't like it big but like the small and intimate. So it was just parents and one of his friends and my friend. But you know what? She never showed up... Later she told me that she'd arrived a bit too late, looked in through the window and didn't want to disturb - and just biked back home... Oh dear! My husband's friend (a very wise and spiritual man indeed!) silently told me that she perhaps wasn't that much of a friend after all...
I was disappointed then. And it was hard to continue with the friendship. My husband, always being oh so wise :), told me that it was just a clear sign from Allah (swt) to me, telling me that she is not somebody I should waste more time on. She didn't take the friendship as serious as I did and again she couldn't relate to my reversion to Islam and my marriage. So. That was the end of that story - and I learned another lesson and got even better at understanding others and reading the signs!! Alhamdulillah.
Sometimes you just need to let time pass, to know how things are going to be! And that's the only thing I'm going to do, when it comes to this upcoming engagement party of my friend and her boyfriend. Again Allah (swt) wants to tell me something and I will do my best to read His signs and stop worrying, insha'Allah! But since I don't master this yet, situations like this still leave me with a feeling of loneliness and frustration, when it comes to friendships... Insha'Allah things will change with time.
That's all for now :)
Take care my dear Blogger-friends :)
No comments:
Post a Comment